Since I get so many private messages inquiring....

About Me

I AM STRAIGHT FORWARD, VERY CONFIDENT AND BOLD
TO SPEAK MY MIND WITHOUT FEAR OR INTIMIDATION


I am Dominant, NOT submissive. I am not one to switch and rarely give up control or to be told what to do. I will be an equal, but am NOT one to allow or be consider less. I am a leader, not a follower and am not easily impressed by people or things in life.

I am an avid fencer which is the science of armed combat bludgeoning weapons manipulated by hand as well as a western style form of martial arts. I specialize in collegiate, classical, flick and Olympic competitive style as well as in the the fighting European methods of swordsmanship, especially rapier. The art of fencing uses 3 particular type of weapons - epee, foil and saber swords. It's all about footwork, blade work, bouting, timing and parry/retreat protocols. Epee and foil swords are my preferred weapons. I have practice the martial art way of the samaurai since 1984.


Turn offs

* People that have poor hygiene is a HUGE turn off for me.

* Fakes, liars, users, deceiver, backstabbers and those that can't say what they mean.

* Hypocrits that act aloof or ignore a person online to impress or please others. Yet, act all chummy offline, privately or off the boards where no one can or will know they communicate with one another.

* Those that CAN'T SPEAK UP and GET TO THE POINT without tripping or dragging their tongue to the floor.

* Those that need or have urge to be in a clique, group or clan to feel accepted, recognized, confident or sense of empowerment.

* Those with the need to have a following or groupies attached or clinging on to their every word or action.

* People wanting to be on my friend's list, but don't have the common courtesy to interact or communicate with me or even bother to introduce themselves.

* Members requesting to be on my friend's list with an empty profile and no information to base their journey on or what they are seeking from me.



Turn ons

* men's cologne

* good hygiene

* those that demonstrate leadership qualities WITHOUT the need for their to be ego stroked or praised every single time.

* those with true and sincere intention to friendship with no ulterior motives involved.

11 months post-op

I am 11 months post-op. I am currently at a stall for the past 3 weeks and don't let that bother or get to me. I look at it, as my body needing its rest to catch up with all the activity it has been going through with all the weight loss and distributing itself. These past 11 months have been a positive experience and I don't have anything negative to say about. My weight loss has been gradual and not rapid. I did not lose my breast mass or have any loose, saggy or flabby skin as other have encounter with the only exception to my upper inner thighs that is not that significant of a concern to me. I made sure I was able to control my weight loss not to be more than 10 lbs per month. More than that and your body's skin elasticity may be effected. That is my take and personal opinion on it. Also, other factors that need to be considered is the length of time a person has been morbidly obese and age. As for me, I am 44, but have been very much active in life and sports prior to the disease of morbid obesity taking over me like a prisonment sentence.

I posted a full body pic to my pic folder here on my profile and I am wearing a see through short tank top with no bra, exposing my breast. I did that to show my breast are not saggy or has lost it volume. I am also wearing a fitted velvet short skirt to show my body frame and curves. This shows my torso and especially my sides and tummy do not have saggy skin since in that picture I do not have on any undergarments (bra or panty). Next month will be 1 year since I had my DS surgery. I do not make a deal about it, but some of my friends are all giddy that I made it to 1 year already. I will give a 1 year overall summary next month in regards to my journey.

The only thing I wanted to write about it since having surgery is my teeth has been affected by it. It can happen in ANY bariatric surgery whether RnY, DS, etc. My last tooth on my left side, the wisdom tooth has a cavity and was eroding/decaying. One thing is, I have never in my life had a cavity or any tooth problems. I never even had plaque. So, this is a 1st for me and my wisdom tooth there has been chipping away. I thought it was from the nuts I was eating and later on it came out thinking it was stuck there, eventhough I brush my teeth and rinse them daily. Well, that tooth has to be extracted and will go Monday October 15th with my hubby to have it done. I will update on that next month. I just didn't expect my teeth would be affected by the bariatric surgery. So, if you do have any type of weight loss surgery, do make an effort to be seen every 6 months. I was due for my visit and that is how I became aware of my tooth condition and what is going on with it. I have always had healthy and perfect teeth. i never even had braces or any work done to my teeth ever. So, this is a 1st for me and my 1st tooth extraction.

I placed a video log in the front of my profile for this month as an update to what is going on and you can see how I look at this stage of the journey. Anyway, that is all I have to say and until next month, when I will give my full 1 year summary list of events on the pro and cons of it all. Until then....

11 months post-op

In a week, I will be 11 months post-op. I've been extremely busy with various itineraries. I know a few want me to visit here more often and post on the boards. But, I do not have time for that and do have a life outside this site and a productive one, especially socially. Life has been good to me and things are going well. Next month, it will be a year since having surgery. Honestly, I never kept tabs to any of my other surgeries and I had several. The bariatric community here and on other forums that I am on, are quite tight knit to sharing that common bond to their weight loss and to know each other's surgical dates. They also like informing others what is going on in their journey as a motivational pull and support system, as well as, the meaning to belong or identify with a certain group and feel the acceptance they might not had before with other peers or even ever with any other connection with the same interest they have. People come from all walk of life to be a part of a forum. Some I have observe like in actual life do have mental issues as well as passion to their surgery. There is various bickering and debates that go on from what is the difference between so and so surgery to people providing info about other surgeries and those that have the surgery taking offense to the misinformation ensuing clashes. SOme misinterpret what is written to be narrow and not widen their thoughts process. I have always had a mind to think outsdie the box, meaning I do not limit myself or what is wriiten or interpreted as always related within topic. I avoid a lot of people here and have learned it just depends on the individual in their way of thinking and their reason to be here.

To many, their WLS date is a new life to restart or reborn to be celebrated yearly like a birthday or anniversary. To some, it is that important in their life. Personally, I do not feel that and it is just another surgery to me.I have had a few life saving surgeries performed on me. I think, I do not feel that connection or emphasis as other here who are post-ops is due to the fact, I was of normal weight all my life and never had to deal with weight issues growing up or into adult until 1999, when I was in my mid-30s. I was active, had a social life, great career and educational path, athletic, very much into various sport and well like by family, friends, colleagues, peers and acquaintances. Although, I did suffer from MO and SMO for the past 7 years that have past, I do not hold it to be a psychological issue or needs to be dragged on reliving it over and over again with me or have any negativity about it. It happened, I lived it, took care of it by receiving the medical treatment needed being surgery and moving on..

I post on the various boards on this site and do entries into this blog because of friends here that have interest to know what is going on in my post-op journey and how I am doing. I appreciate their concern and inquisitive minds to whatever I write here.. I do provide support and friendship to those who interact with me regularly. I am not one to advertise or post about how I helped someone or who I have met in person or post praises. That is left to be discreet with me. I am a lowkey person and not one that needs to be in the spotlight, praised or post about. I do not place my bariatric surgery post operative journey as being prevalent in my life. I had the surgery and do what I must in helping me with improving my health and losing the weight as the contributing factor to it. I do not speak, mention or make regular or frequent topic of conversations about my postop lifestyle to those who are my postop friends online or offline. We just move on with life and talk about other revelant things. Most of my post-op friends are longterm being over 3 years out. If anything is of concern, we will talk about it. But, the topic of our WLS is not a daily, weekly or a constant conversational piece. Life does go on. My life does not revolve around my weight loss or the surgery. I have more important things in my life and to accomplish. My bariatric surgery is a small portion to my existence and like other surgeries I have had, it was done to help with my health. I don't talk much about my weight, how much I have lost or what dress sizer smaller I am. Just not my style. If I am having issues, I call my surgeon's office and seek advice or whatever is on my mind. I do not rely on members here who are relatively strangers from all walk of life to give me any advice or guidance when it come to concern about my health. If it is about food, vitamins or protein supplements that is the limit and not beyond that for input. If they are friends, I would speak them on the phone or in person and touch base. If I do post, it is not on medical questions with my health status or what is concerning me that is not going well, such as having a headache, experiencing hair loss (I've actually got the answer from my surgeon) or what over the counter med is ok to take. Come on folks, leave that to calling your surgeon's office and not rely on anyone posting here when it comes to your personal health. I post things based on my personal WLS EXPERIENCE and limit it to that when it comes to someone asking certain questions. I know anyone who gives me feedback on their personal experience if I ask something, I appreciate it. Beyond that, I view certain inquiries posted as something to have doubt and do not take as being completely valid or convinced of its certainty. I do research anything that strikes my interest and share the information found.

When it comes to people on this site, I am extremely selective and guarded person when it come to whom I interact with especially on such open website with multiple forums. I know there are members here who seek approval, acceptance, need to identify or belong to a certain group or clique. As for me, I am not one to be easily influenced or drawn to other's comment, compliment, opinion, hearsay, gossip or nonsense. I am not impressed or have any admiration or praise for any person here. As I said, I am extremely selective and guarded with whom I interact and communicate with. My time here is positive and jovial. I am here because I do have friends that want to be just friends, joke around, need support and interact in a positive manner. I have met a few in person and do communicate with them offline. I do not need to post to them to acknowledge them or vice versa. I am not into belonging to any group or take sides to be liked or accepted. I don't want to be involved, absorbed or have connections with such. I enjoy the privilege to be on my own and post freely anywhere I want and please.

I have on this site a few members that I can say are worthy of being friends, since we do interact and communicate with one another and it is sincere. This is suppose to be a support site as well as a place to socialize. Yet, I am very cautious with who approaches me. I don't really know who to trust here, who can be said is really a friend, who has ulterior motives, who is playing mind games or is on a prowl and who is just pernicious. I can't always read or figure out who is the person behind the screen and what are their true intentions to communicate with me. For that reason, don't take it personal if I seem aloof or do not respond/reply to your private messages or threads. If you want to interact with me, say hello and be nice. Let's get to know each other out in the open and build a friendship or support system from there, if that is what you are seeking. Just understand, nothing more beyond that and I do not need my ego stroked either. Just be a friend and not a fake one..

post op DS survey

As unusual as the questions seems, these are EXACTLY how I received it when asked by pre-op and those who have other surgeries (RNY) curious about the DS. They felt it was comfortable to contact and ask me. Although, I am only 11 months postop.

I was asked in a few message from various people and I quote them do "I pass gas all day long", do I know anyone who "wears diapers" because they heard from others that a DSers has nonstop diarrhea and uncontrollable leaking stools that stains their underwear, 3 persons actually ask specifically about if Dsers need to wear adult diapers.

The other questions ask are there "any passing of gas or bowel movement and is it true does the smell "lingers" upon the person" because they "heard" that a postop smell like flatuence and the bowel movement all the time and especially after such event. For me, the answer is no and for others the same answer as mine. So, it is a fallacy. I posted a DS survey to see what the majority feedback from others would be and to see for themselves without outside influence of hearsay and straight from those that had DS.



1. Do you have diarrhea or loose watery stool?
no. only time it happened was my first 2 weeks postop

2. Do you ‘go’ 4-6 times or even more in a day?
no, the most i go on average is once a day in the morning

3. Do you pass gas all day long?
no, not all day. there are certain food such as almonds that gives me a lot of gas, but not all day long


4. Is your gas or bowel movement so offensive that it lingers on you 5 mins. AFTER it occurs?
no


5. Do you have body odor that is due to having a DS?
no

6. Do you suffer from pain or bloating?
i am still under a year postop. and do get slight belly ache when eating nuts such as almonds and pistachios. i am unable to eat chicken completely, but am able to eat small portion about 2oz worth.

7. Do you have a lot of hair loss?
no, i lost alittle bit at the front at about 3 months postop and it stopped few weeks later. no more hair loss after that. it was due to the 5 hours being in surgery and known as shock from anesthesia.

8. Do you have intolerance or get sick eating any type of food?
still have issues with poultry, but not as bad as before that it made me throw up and go thru what is similar to dumping syndrome. i had intolerance until 5 months postop to bread and pasta. i thought it was due to white flour but it wasn't since i was able to have pancakes. that intolerance disappear. still cannot eat much poultry, just very small amount. i am unable to drink anything that is carbonated even when flate. almonds and pistachos gives me belly aches, but not cashews or salted peanuts.

9. Do you wear diapers?
no. when this question was sent to me, i found it very odd, but some heard from others that DSers have to wear adult diapers due to having uncontrollable bowel movements and leaks.

10. Do you have any intestinal problems or other complications since having a DS?
none. my intestinal problems were actually remedied since having DS

11. What is one thing you have daily to eat or drink?
milk, i enjoy drinking milk everyday as well as have to have my ready made nestea or lipton sweetened ice tea. i enjoy eating grill cheese. i concentrate on high protein and eat mostly seafood such as shrimps and salmon as much as i can.

12. What are things you are able to eat?
basically anything i have taste tested and eat except i still have a slight issue with poultry but able to eat 2oz with it causing an issue. more than that and it affects me.

13. Is there any food you are unable to eat or tolerate?
poultry that is more than 2 oz.. i am able not to eat more than 1/4 palm of almonds or pistacho. i am unable to tolerate any time of carbonated drink, even if it is flat


14. How much protein are you required to have each day?
80-120 gms per day but i usually have about 60-75 daily

15. What are some things you take/eat to meet your daily protein intake?
it is either

optimum nutrition rocky road protein powder that give me 34 gms of protein for 1 serving

for meat its - ground beef, ribeye steak, beef franks, italian sausages, hamburger

eggs, cheese

lobster, shrimp, crab or salmon

all these are high in protein

16. What vitamins and supplements do you take on a daily basis?
adek, centrum, iron, calcium citrate. every once and awhile i take biotin and vit e. i take prescribed vit d (drisdol) because i have a deficieny since my pre-op days and still take it

17. Are you able to eat and drink with your meals?
yes and always do

18. What is a typical menu for a day -- or post what you ate yesterday or today.
bkfast - either a optimum nutrition rocky road with lactaid milk OR western or eggs over easy/bacon/2 white toast OR cherrios with milk and some unflavored protein powder OR a grilled cheese.

lunch - tuna sandwich OR mcd's crispy chicken wrap OR burger OR pizza with any topping i want OR a grilled salmon

dinner - rice & beans with meat on the side OR pasta with meatballs OR shrimp scampi OR ribeye steak OR some seafood. i like some steam or grilled veggies such as zucchini, carrots, peans, sweet white potato OR mashed potatoes

19. Has your personality or perceptions of things changed since you had surgery?
i am more out of my shell and have more confidence about myself. overall, i am still me within, just my outside image, my body is different

20. What are some things you can say the DS helped you with regarding your health and life?
no longer suffer from sleep apnea (off cpap machine)
no longer suffer from chronic diarrhea
no longer have heart arrthymias (off heart medication)
no longer have high blood pressure
no longer confined to a chair or bed because i can't move
no longer have to worry if i am under stress i will gain weight due to my cortisol being overactive
i am able to move about without feeling exhausted
i am more flexible and able to do things without assistance
i am more active and participating in sports
i look more presentable looking and not hiding or running away from the camera
able to go out and not shy away from the public