before having my DS

I just wanted to say before having my DS, I had quite a few medical issues, some which include intestinal problems. I don't like talking about it since it brings back sad memories of the conditions and ordeal I had been through. But, I was for years what was considered "pre-op in limbo", for 3+ years. The medical advancement (yes there have been in WLS) was able to give me a 4th chance to see if I can be a safe surgical candidate for the BPD-DS. I doubt it, but then I was only pre-op testing for the RNY since that is what my insurance only accepted back then and it was concluded it was not suitable for me to have.

So off I went, with no high hopes at all. But, guess what? After they reviewed all my medical results, I was informed I can have the BDP-DS. That left me in shocked and stunned after feeling I will be non-op for the rest of my life and with no hope to overcome this disease. I did lose weight on my own. I went from 305 lbs to 165 lbs in 2 years with diet and whatever exercise I can do. But, due to issues that occured, I did maintained it for awhile and it creeped back on me and gained about 80 lbs back to about 250 lbs. After that, I couldn't take the weigt off at all. I tried and tried, but it just wouldn't come off.

I had my surgery on Nov 14, 2006. I will admit the aftermath post-op pain I experienced was HELL. It was continuous for 27 straight horrendous days. It is rare for this to happen and I didn't expect that part to prolong. But, I overcame that step and continued on in my journey. I will be 10 weeks out tomorrow. My weight loss had now been slow, in which I see it as a good thing. I don't want to rush into losing weight fast. But, I will say this. I have hit a few stalls and with each stall I may not lose pounds, but have LOTS of lost inches. For 10 weeks, I have gone from a size 18/20 to my present size 12. That is a HUGE accomplishment. My skin is still tight and look good and toned. The only noticeable skin flabbiness I see, is in my upper inner thighs but everything else looks good. Have to give it time to see how all this weight loss and body morphing will take me. I feel healthier and beginning to get my energy back.

I thank the LORD for allowing to have this surgery and gaining my health back. I just wanted to share my thoughts and let others know DON'T GIVE UP! I waited over 3 years and although I lost weight on my own, I did gain it back due to factors. I thought I would be non-op forever and in 2006 I was given a chance and my prayers were answered and that means I can live alittle longer and combat this deadly disease known as morbid obesity. I started out as SMO with a weight of 305 lbs and BMI of 55.8 and am now 205 lbs with a BMI of 37.5. I have gone from a body fat index (BFI) of 51 on Nov. 2006 to a current BFI = 33.

So to summarize what I have experienced since having my BPD-DS surgery 10 weeks ago:

* from 247 lbs to current 205 lbs, from BMI = 45.2 to current BMI = 37.5

* from size 18/20 to current size 12, from BFI = 51 to current BFI = 33


In addition, I want to say I don't have any medical complications due to BPD-DS since having surgery and actually improved a lot of the conditions I had. I just wanted to share this moment with all here, that'sall.

Size

I now wear a size 12. Pretty cool, considering 9 weeks ago before surgery, I was a size 18/20. Size 12 fits very nicely. Although, i had laparoscopic BPD-DS, my stomach is still a bit swollen (I look 3-4 months pregant) where they did surgery and I guess it is my swollen intestines. My tummy gone down ALOT. But, it isn't there yet to say it looks normal. You can tell since the swellingness is kinda lopsided so to speak and more pronounced on the left where most of the surgery was at. I give it time since internal surgery from within does take time to heal. I wish it was late spring and time already past by. My weight loss is gradual and slow paced which I am happy about. I don't want to lose weight fast as I keep saying over and over again. I have lost lots of inches. I am at a stall which I take as my morphing going through changes again.

I decided to now keep my hair off my face and be seen. Haven't had that confidence to do that in years. I am extremely selective who I turn my webcam on for and it is based on trust and respect. My girlfriends and I are on webcam and microphone to chat all the time and they see my transformation. Since, my closest friends are post-op veterans 3+ years and more out, they help me alot with being my mentors and helping me as I go through my phases. I know 2007 is going to be one heck of a year for me and will be more active to go out and see the world that I didn't feel comfortable to place myself prior to surgery. There are a lot of plans for this year and taking them all one step at a time.

scale is moving

The scale is moving and weight is seen to be coming off again. I have to admit, I do eat regular food which is a blessing for me. I can have carbs, food with fats as well as fried, use olive oil and/or butter. I am able to eat rice and beans (only about 5 tsp) and it will not cause any bad reaction to me. But, one key note here is, I do eat these things but WITH MODERATION. Food is not my enemy, it is my fuel. Fat is not my enemy, you need fat to provide your body within with insulation and what will prevent you from feeling cold or having chills. There is no such thing as a human being with ZERO fat body mass. Reality is you need fat as you also need food. Just gotta know your limitation and to understand things are done with thought and moderation. This is a lifelong process and regime. It is a lifestyle. You have to understand yourself, what you are doing and the success to maintain your overall goal. Even now, I am still learning a lot about my body and self-being. Sure, I studied WLS for about 4 years, but once you experience it first hand, it is a totally different concept than having it theorized.

I don't have the classic symptoms that many have with this surgery. I don't have diarrhea, stomach pains or cramps from digesting milk, fats or sugars. I do get gassy and burp every now and then, but that is my limit. Yes, there is a distinctive odor from moving your bowels, but no diarrhea as others experienced. I don't emit offensive body odors as some warned me about. If you have offensive body or oral odor, it means you are in ketosis and you hardly have any carb intake within your system. You do need to have a certain minimal level of carbs for your body to function. With this surgery, I eat regular food, just not so much, which is a good thing due to the malabsorption as well as the restrictive part of it. Also, any carbonated drink (soda) will cause me to throw up, as well as poultry, wich I hope maybe one day I can try again due to its high protein value. Also, heavy dough (breads, pizza, pasta), is an issue to digest. But, beyond these, I am ok with life. I am losing and only 7 pounds away from being 200 lbs. I originally started with a BMI of 55.4 and weighed 305 lbs and now I am 207 with a current BMI of 37.9, this is a huge accomplishment for me since I lost most of the weight on my own, but gain alot back to 247 lbs. I do have slight skin issues along my inner thighs near my crotch area, but not on my stomach and hopefully my breast may stay intact. Only time will tell regarding these 2 areas. Well, that's it for now. My face has slimmed down alot as well as my body. I am happy to be able to live without the complications I had before. I slowly getting my life back in more ways than one - physically, mentally and emotionally.

It's only been 2 months, but the morphing is incredible. I look so much slimmer as time goes by. I have about 65 more pounds to lose to hit goal. I can assume, it may take me a year to hit my goal. Hope it goes slowly. But, I might lose it all and hit goal after my 6th month or around that time frame. It's also nice that I don't need to wear cosmetic and be plain and natural with my webcam on. I used to hide behind my long hair. Now I can pick it up and not cover myself with it. I had a lot of issues prior to surgery. I didn't feel my best or even felt that I was worth looking at. We all experience this type of self esteem due to our weight issues and kept me a bit withdrawn.

- 38 lbs

Today, I am 8 weeks out of surgery or 2 months out. I weighed myself this morning and am 209 lbs. That means I am 9 lbs away from being 200 lbs. I am doing well overall. Last night, for dinner, I had a grilled ribeyed steak with steamed carrots and string beans and sauteed button mushroom and red peppers cooked in butter, olive oil and garlic with some seasonings. Ate about a 2-3 oz steak along with the veggies. I still haven't had any outside food, only homecooked meals. I don't want to get sick or anything while trying to enjoy my outing. Still need time to work on that. I did eat a very small piece of chicken the other day, only to regurgitate it. I will leave the chicken to when I am 6 months out, since I don't think at 3 months will make much of a difference.

I have been wearing a Medic Alert bracelet for a few years now. I have purchased an updated one that was made of stainless steel, but my skin had a terrible allergic reaction to it. Had to go and purchase another bracelet of sterling silver material. A Medic Alert whether bracelet or necklace, etc, is an important option to have in your possession. You can be in an accident or other situation in which for whatever reason with the inability to communicate. The medical staff might not know what medical conditon you might have offhand, have records on you, able observe what is unseen to the human eye or anything that can't be verified right away. The paramedics don't know you when they are giving you treatment, especially when it is an emergency.

With the Medic Alert, all information is kept on their database, including your identity, doctors, emergency contact, allergies you might have and most important your medical condition or conditions. I had mine updated right after surgery and told them what I wanted engraved on my bracelet and be the first thing they will see if something happens to me, which is to list in view my bariatric surgery and that I am allergic to latex. You can go to their website at http://www.medicalert.com to know what they are all about. I felt the most important info to display was my bariatric surgery and my allergy to latex. On the back of the bracelet or medallion, it list the toll free number to contact Medic Alert, as well as your membership ID.

2 months out

On Sunday January 14th, I will be 2 months out. As I said previously, I experienced a stall and it is expected. I am now 215 lbs. It is perfectly fine with me since, I don't want the weight to drop too fast causing skin issues. Like I said many times, steady and with a gradual pace, although it isn't something I can control. If I lose weight too fast, let it be, but prefer it to be gradual. Still can't do chicken and the tuna just can't even now bare to look at the can. The other day, I ate some meatballs with marinada sauce (all homemade, no pasta for me). There was a bag mini croissants. I said it would be nice to have with the meatballs. It look very light and airy. I know bread, pizza and pasta dough makes me ill. The only way to know is to do a taste test. I unrolled the mini croissant (alittle larger than my middle finger), took a bite, waited to see if there were any reactions to it. I had none. I then proceeded to eat it with my meatballs and it went down fairly well. I didn't have any negative side effects from it. At least, I can have this with my meals. Only one though. I did get filled up rather quickly.

I need to go to my storage and find some updated garments to wear. The ones I am wearing are falling off of me, eventhough I was at a stall. You might not see any movement of pounds looking at the scale, but the body is morphing and getting smaller. I am getting my energy level back and feeling more active. At least, I dont' feel disabled or limited to daily activities as I once had. Now to keep on going and see how today compares to a month from now, when I am 3 months out of surgery.

I don't like talking about my personal life on here, except related to my wls. But, this is important to me because it deals with a human life. I want those that read my profile to know, I have a busy life, doing what is significant with my time and energy, which is to invest and spend it with family, close friends and those deployed overseas sacrificing their LIFE. I might not agree with the US Policy regarding sending our military to Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. But, that is their call of duty and the soldiers must do what's told.

Charles gave his life protecting our country. He was killed in action yesterday, Jan 11, 2007 at 8am Baghdad time, saving the lives of 26 soldiers. He took OVER 23 bullets to his body & STILL he fought on to save their life over his. He gave the ultimate price, his life. He was 20 years old. He was 20 yrs old. REST IN PEACE, FOR YOU WERE A TRUE MAN OF HONOR AND RESPECT!!! The tatto on his arm said INFANTRY in which he was very proud to be a part of. May he rest in peace for his courage and honor. Remember the soldiers deployed and hope they all can return home safe.

stall is gone

Well, my stall is gone and back to losing weight. I know this is common and will expect another to occur in the next 6 weeks. It happens as the weight loss rest in order for the body to distribute and morph. Still having alittle difficulty with certain food that I cannot tolerate. I have been buying and eating mostly higher end priced protein food such as lobster, crab, salmon, shrimps as well as ribeye steaks. The grocery bill for these are up by $30 a week, but it is worth it. I don't waste my money on stupid things and this is well worth it, since it is food and most important helps with my health. On the 14th, it will be 2 months since I had my surgery and will hit the scale to see what the official weight will be at that time. I haven't been too keen with my vitamins and supplements regimes. There is so much that it keeps me full that I don't want to eat, eventhough it is spaced out nicely, but keeps my tummy full. The Calcium Citrate chewable are huge tablets. Takes me a long while to chew them down. I went back to the horsepill and can swallow it, eventhough I feel it is just hanging there in my tummy without disappearing.

I have to mention a small thing here and get it over it. What I write in my profile is what relates to ME and no other. If you come to read and it helps you in your journey, that is my way to pay it forward and give my support to you. If there is anyone out there that can connect or relate to my journey, good. Now, regarding my Dec 22nd entry, if anyone out there feels what I write relates to you about my concerns of being careful online and what info I provide on such an openly public site. If you think it is about YOU, that is your personal demons. My words were written based on my experience and like any other sites, I am guarded and selective with whom I interact with. That is my personal decision and will let you know what I think. If you take it wrongly, that is your mental issue, not mine.

I had a few people (some unknown to me) send me private messages over a person who plagerized my entry word per word to create a thread regarding it and be vindictive about it. For him to think it was about him was weird or that he thinks I am even thinking about him. Just odd to me. He could have been man enough and sent me a private message if he felt inquisitive. But no, he had to extract my words, exploit and create a thread to incite drama about it. Tells me about his character as a man and how low he can stoop to make it a GAME to entertain with. I ignored his thread, since to me it says alot about who he is to do that and what kind of person he is to target someone who has NOTHING to do with him. He even thinks he is the topic to discuss. Please get a grip, you are not all that or important to me. This is just a forum. Inciting and creating drama is who you are, but not for me. I ignore ignorance and although I am discreet, a callous insensitve post sort for me to disclose why I wrote what I wrote on my profile. He started with me for no apparent reason. I never went to a forum to cause drama with people since that is not my style and does not interest me to do that. There's more important things in life for me to invest in and think about than that. I mind my business and am a low key person. His intentions to put me in the spotlight proves his deceit to create drama and incite when there was NONE to begin with. I totally ignored him and lost respect for him due his actions. Do what you want, just don't bother with me if that is all you got to fulfill yourself. I've said what I need and this to me is now a dead issue, PERIOD.